We all know how hard it is to look after someone who has ADHD, and it’s something I’ve been learning over the last few months. I was always the one with ADHD, now I have to look after young people who have it. The tables have turned!
It’s difficult to imagine that I would be in the other shoes! It’s something that I’m finding very interesting. One particular child at the school gets a massive kick from winding others up, I’ve never seen anything quite like it. On every occasion, and I mean every! He will take the opportunity to make a remark to one of the other boys. This therefore causes conflict among the boys and a swearing war.
They have no understanding of appreciation, and that’s even a simple thank you. This should grow with time, and they will understand basic manners. The boys are struggling to even sit and eat dinner, it takes a good 10 minutes to calm them down enough to serve the food. Then they continue to argue over the table.
I will continue my observations, but I have to say it’s such an amazing place. The staff work really hard, and really deserve much more than they get, in appreciation and money.
I’ve been thinking lately, and observing my life. I realise that things in life aren’t always straight forward, but later on they seem to work out! My volunteering at the boarding school has been amazing yet very insightful! I really want to help these young people develop, but it takes years to help them control their mind.
I keep thinking about myself as a child, how I was and how hard the staff worked to give me a better life, a better future. It brings me back to my childhood, and the days I’d cry in the corner, not understanding why I was being beaten by a relative (who is no longer a relative). Kicked, and thinking it was some kind of game.
Was it because I was an over excited kid? I was different? Jealousy? Who knows… I still don’t know, and honestly I don’t like to think about it. All I know is that I want to give others a better life. My work at the school is so special, even though it’s stressful and sometimes it can be a little emotional, at the end of the day I drive out of that school thinking I’ve somehow made a difference. It doesn’t matter how big it is, it could be measured by 0.0.0.0.01%, but it’s a difference to these young peoples life’s.
My dream job would be working full time with young vulnerable children, and making a difference and hopefully providing a better future for them. I wouldn’t change it for the world, or any amount of money. I’m dedicated and passionate about this.
WOW! What a great few days! I’ve made a new friend (who I’m sure will become a good friend) – I’m seeing many more friends and really starting to socialise to the fullest. I’m not SAD anymore about my ex (applause) – I’ve realised that life goes on! I’m happy.
I’m doing a few days at the school this week, which I’m so happy about! I’m finding it difficult to compare myself to when I was at the school, to the kids who attend these days. I have to admit I feel that the problems the boys have are very different to the problems of the boys who attended back in 2000. I can’t explain it, but observing the behaviour of the boys is a shock to the system.
I understand that the boys need attention, and most the time they squabble between each other, but it seems they are very needy at the moment, especially the younger lot. I can remember most the things I did was for attention, but I really feel that it’s something different this time.
I’ve been asked to mentor a young person from the school, which I’m really excited about! This is something I will do for a few weeks.
All in all, life is good. I’m becoming a stronger person mentally. I’m actually happy now, and moving on with things. My friends have been a great support, and the bigger my friends circle is getting the happier I’m getting!
I just wanted to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for all the nice comments and support. Without you guys I really don’t know how I could’ve coped. Everyone who’s liked my posts, commented on them and just read them, thank you! I’ve got some great advice, and my regular readers would have followed my story for the last year! Been through my ups and downs, and cheered me along the way!
I have so much more to write about life, ADHD, and general problems. Thank you once again. I’m sorry that I’m crap at replying to comments, but I do read everyone!
I’m loving my volunteering at the moment. Helping look after children with learning difficutlies and ADHD. It’s so interesting to observe the way the children act, the way I used to act when I was younger. One particular boy tonight made an excuse to be really naughty as he was 1 pill short. He took advantage of this situation by messing up and blaming his medication on it. This is something I would have pulled at his age.
It’s also interesting to see the amount of winding up the boys try with each other, and successfully they manage to wind each other up each time. I keep thinking in my mind, just IGNORE it. I understand though they can’t! When I was that age, I couldn’t ignore it! It took years for me to control those emotions.
I love working at the school, and I wouldn’t ever give it up. It’s so rewarding, and the experience I’m getting is great!
I’m positive about life at the moment, things are going well. I’m making more friends and I’m not so upset about my ex anymore. I understand she wants to move on with her life, without me. I’ve accepted this, and will let her get on with it. I don’t think about the past anymore, even though I miss her lots. I wasn’t perfect, I wasn’t well. I still think things would have been different when I got better, and I could have taken care of her. I hope we remain friends and I get to see her, but time will tell!
I have a busy weekend which I’m looking forward to! I hope everyone has a fantastic evening, day, morning!
Realising that my hopes and dreams for someone will not happen. Thinking hard, and accepting that I wasn’t good enough. Life is good right now. I’m happy. I was happy before, but sickness put a dark cloud over my life. I’m sorry if you ever read this, truly sorry. I still think of you when I close my eyes, everyday.
Such a lovely day today, I have my appointment with the psychiatrist today which I’m looking forward to. I haven’t spoken to my ex for about 5 days, which is upsetting. I think about her everyday, but I know this is for the best. I’m not sure she even wants to talk to me again, but I only have myself to blame.
Life is good, seeing lots of friends. I have exciting new chances for my job soon. I’m positive about the future, and actually smiling everyday now.
Hey everyone! I just couldn’t wait to do another blog, sorry! I have to say, what a great weekend so far! The sun is shining and I’m working, which I enjoy! A lot has happened in the last 24 hours, and to be honest for the better. Just heard I could potentially be doing my dream job soon if I would like!
1. I didn’t realise the small things in life make you happy.
2. Finally getting the help I need.
3. I’m glad to have that person I can now discuss my feelings with.
4. Life isn’t actually that bad, if you stand back and observe.
5. The sun is shining!!
As I said, I won’t be posting for a little while. But I’m going to have so much to blog about when I do!
I’ve done it, I’ve managed to scare off the one person who I care most about in the world. She’s even stopped reading my blog, and has totally cut off all contact with me. I only have myself to blame, I had a terrible break down earlier today. I don’t blame her.
I’m getting help for it, I didn’t realise I was such an emotional wreck. I have nothing to do in the week, apart from Thursdays and weekends. I just sit here and think about all the negatives. I won’t be posting for a week as I will be away from home, and I don’t really want to bring the online world with me. I’m also sorry if I don’t reply to comments, I’m rubbish at it, but I will reply sometime in the future.
Take care everyone!
I strangely feel like I’m starting to become an irritation for my ex-girlfriend? Maybe this is my paranoid state of mind, and anxiety. How does one fight off these urges to always find correction and support from someone who once gave it to you, but you know no longer can.
I’m just not well, I mean no harm. Is it normal to feel like this? It’s so difficult. I was also asked a question earlier, do my ex-girlfriend(s) read my blog? Yes they do, this does make it tough, but they know it’s my platform for my emotions and life. I do not force them to read it, and sometimes wish they didn’t read certain blogs. It’s hard to be say my feelings honestly, I do try and discuss a particular issue with them beforehand if I’m struggling. I’m sure they will both lose interest soon enough!
I struggle most days, that’s the problem. So I just write down my thoughts, that will never change. It helps me, and it helps others.
I’ve just realised what I’ve become in the last month, a pathetic, crying baby. No wonder nobody wants me. I’m a train wreck, pure and simple. Why do I lie to myself? Why do I want to hurt myself? I feel like I deserve it, yes. I deserve everything that’s happened to me. I deserve more pain and hurt.